You are the Anchor

Co-regulatng with your child can be one of the most intimidating aspects of parenting, but it doesn’t have to be! When your child is in the middle of a tantrum or behavior, keeping yourself calm is the number one priority to ensure safety for you and your child. These tips can help you regulate and remember that you are the anchor!

● Reduce Demands: When a child is overwhelmed, their thinking brain is not fully working. Take away instructions, questions, and pressure until they settle.

● Use a Calm, Steady Voice: Speaking slowly and clearly helps guide their brain and reset.

● Stay Close, but Not Too Close: You know your child, Some children request space while some seek comfort. Make sure you follow their cues!

● Match Your Breathing: Show your child slow, deep breaths and have them match you when their breathing is elevated. You are the model!

● Offer Comfort: It can be a blanket, a toy, or something that they enjoy.

● Reflect the Feeling: Reflecting “You are feeling overwhelmed” helps them feel heard and not judged for their feelings.

● Wait Until Calm: Most importantly, wait until they are calm to discuss what happened and their feelings around it. Oftentimes, children aren’t ready to talk about it when they are in fight or flight mode.

Using these techniques can help your child see positive behavior in action, and feel more safe and secure. Once calm, teaching them coping skills will allow for them to feel more in control of their behavior. This can be challenging sometimes, but remember, you are the anchor!

Written by: Brittany Rose, LPCA