When Your Child Says We Played Games…

They are absolutely right! We probably did play card games or board games. We might have laughed and worked together on a collaborative game; we might have gotten competitive and challenged each other as opponents. Do you want to know what else we did with this time, though? Through gameplay, we might have worked on cooperation and teamwork skills. We may have practiced self-regulation skills so that we are more able to tolerate frustration and mistakes. For every time that we laughed, I promise we also had moments of practicing deep breathing, positive self-talk, and effective, appropriate communication so that the game could go on. In a standard session incorporating games, here are some skills that we might have practiced, in real time, to work toward our mental health goals:

• Labeling emotions

• Identifying bodily cues for when emotions are rising

• Communicating our feelings, needs, and wants in appropriate ways

• Working together toward shared goals

• Tolerating frustration and persevering in spite of it

• Managing anger before acting out or rage quitting (deep breathing, taking a break, counting to 10)

• Challenging perfectionism and accepting our best efforts as being good enough

• Using positive self-talk to ensure that our self-esteem is not impaired by losses or challenges

• Reframing negativistic or catastrophic thoughts that pop up when things do not go according to plan

So, yes. We will occasionally play games in session. Games are a great opportunity for me to model age-appropriate skills for your child, build and strengthen the therapeutic relationship, and create opportunities for your child to practice learned coping skills in the most natural way possible. We strive to learn so much in therapy, and the process goes a lot smoother when we have fun while doing it.

Written by Montana Cundiff, CSW